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“It was a tremendous boost to my somewhat wounded self-esteem to be approached by such a beautiful woman,” he recalls.“However, it was the ensuing conversation that evening that made her irresistible—I found her absolutely fascinating.” The beautiful woman, Perri, was equally entranced by the man she saw walk in the door more than an hour before she gathered the courage to speak to him.
Their words of wisdom are designed to help you find the kind of relationship that meets your individual wishes and needs at this exciting point in your life. When you are grateful, you feel good about yourself and you are in the right frame of mind to attract love into your life. Define the values and qualities that you need to have in a life partner. We are open to reaching out for professional assistance in all areas of our lives—we hire tax consultants, investment professionals or personal trainers, yet when it comes to our love lives, we mistakenly believe that we can find our life partner by chance. The Fed EX person will not deliver your significant other to your door. Approach others with a smile and your business card. Networking events are great places to make connections. Submit an interesting profile with a current picture and let the communication begin! You may want to base this list on qualities people possessed who were difficult for you to handle in past relationships. You’re fabulous, no doubt, but there are probably things you did—or didn’t do—in your last relationship or on dates that you can learn from. Passion is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess. So many daters focus on their flaws and why someone they like would never be interested in them. Remember that the act of love requires taking risks and being open—with your mind and in your heart. Start getting excited about all the new people you will meet. If you focus on fear, you become more fearful; if you focus on doubt, more doubtful. Now that you are focused on what you want—love—start acting on that emotion. Friend love and family love are both very powerful emotions. Steer clear of any conversations about how terrible it is to be dating at 40, or how there are “no good men or women out there.” Remember to keep your focus on what you want and also remember that you only need one. Creating a Dream Partner List is possibly the most important thing you can do when you are looking for love. Grab your journal and a glass of wine, put on some Barry White or whatever does it for you and then go to work on capturing all of the qualities that you want and desire in your partner. The truth is that your list is just an exercise to help you be clearer about what it is you want to attract and what you will be looking for in a mate. It was finding the right people—people who shared her life goals—that was the issue.“On that first date, we had two bottles of wine and closed out the restaurant,” she muses. We felt like we had known each other for a long time.” Within three months, the couple was engaged.And on the one-year anniversary of their first meeting, Uli and Gary married in a private, outdoor, sunset ceremony on the island of Kauai.“He had a light blue shirt on with eyes to match,” she says.“In a crowd of 3,000 people, he really stood out to me.” And while it was against the somewhat shy 40-something’s nature to go up and talk to a stranger, Perri, who had ended her own 16-year marriage five years prior to that night, was encouraged by her friend, who plotted out a strategy to help her “accidentally” start up that all-important conversation.You may be on the lookout right now, using such successful online dating sites as or e Harmony, through which thousands upon thousands of people have found love. Don’t let yourself be influenced by negative thoughts about your age. Love can and will happen at any age, if you are open and receptive. How joyful and happy we feel is reflected in our appearance and energy level, and it is directly connected to our personal relationships. One of the great gifts I gave myself when I was single was a Caribbean Cruise. Besides pushing your limits and challenging the status quo, trying new things also presents great opportunities to meet people. Be realistic about the type of partner you see yourself with. Being over 40 is the best age to finally know what’s important in life and relationships. Schedule an evening, invite some friends over and go through magazines, finding pictures that represent the life that you want and the partner that you want. As you are out in the dating world, experiencing many different people and dating experiences, take the time to open up your journal and capture the things you like and dislike from each person you encounter.Or, you could be out on the singles scene in Atlanta, making connections as you visit the city’s numerous hot spots. I had the time of my life and actually met a few eligible gentlemen on board. If you meet someone who has the core values and character traits that are important to you, but he may be a bit shorter than your ideal, give it a chance. We can now learn from past mistakes and get it right. Men love women who are easy-going, fun and flirtatious. Sunset cruises, a couple on a beach, a loving family—whatever it is that you desire. Add to that Dream Partner List and the Partner From Hell List.“And I lucked out.” After more than a year with the service and meeting several people, Uli was matched with Gary.A delightful phone conversation led to an in-person meeting, which went extremely well.In July 2005, Gary and Perri were married in the groom’s childhood church, surrounded by 150 family members and friends.“That day, I knew that I would be at peace for the rest of my life,” Perri says. And we get happier and happier each year that we’re together.” Having found love after the age of 40, Gary and Perri want others to know that they can experience the same thing if they’re open to it.